Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
