I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
