I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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