I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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