Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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