i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
