For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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