I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
