Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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