my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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