she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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