Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can I color on your dick again?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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