at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize