we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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