Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
