she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
