This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just want nice things and good sex
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
