He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
