So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
