You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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