Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
