my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
