Hey man sorry I got all grabby
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
