The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
