Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
