I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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