My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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