Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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