So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
