so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
