im holly from the hills drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize