the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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