you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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