No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
