i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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