then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
