somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
