my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Panties = found
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
