you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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