is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
