look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
