No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
