now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
