doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
