you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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