Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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