My balls are so social today.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
