carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
