i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So vagazzling was a success
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
