lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
