I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You ate ashes out of my bong
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
