Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
