Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize