I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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