fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
