I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
