Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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