Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
