I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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