Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
