You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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