Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
