I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think your dad took our porno
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
