So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
