i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
