I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
